What Is That?

November 18, 2017 Leave a Comment

My wife has some awesome stories. She often tells me that she needs to start a mommy blog, I agree. But she hasn’t, so I’m stealing a story.

Raising 2 kids that aren’t potty trained has never been an easy job. We’re lucky enough to scrape by on 1 income. I probably need to rephrase that, I’m very lucky to be the sole provider of monetary goods for the family. Jodi works around the clock, multitasking, and keeping these kids alive. She’s an amazing mother that rarely gets the credit she deserves. Applaud your wife or mom or anyone that took that responsibility for your upbringing. I get to go to work and deal with mostly rational people. Mostly

There are days that I get 5 or 6 phone calls, tattletale calls. “Keenan bit sissy’s arm” or “They got into your desk and wrote on the cabinets with Sharpie” or “Hattie is repeating a cuss word non-stop” While I either try my hardest not to laugh at the hell Jodi is going through, I often have to ask “Well I’m in Seattle, with this traffic I’m a couple hours away. Can you handle the situation on your own?”

Those quotes, really happened. Sharpie comes off, with a lot of elbow grease. The bites, come more often then I’d like to admit and always just before doctors appointments. And luckily “Mater Belt Tutu” is even funnier to say than any cuss words!

The other day was my favorite call of all time. Jodi was trying hard to get the kitchen cleaned up. Dishes had piled up and there are clothes and Hot Wheels in every room in the house at all times! The kids were playing nice with each other (for once) and keeping almost dangerously quiet. She got the counters clear, the sliding glass door all windexed and went to get the vacuum out. Walking past our son’s room she sees that a highlighter was found, and Hattie is a peculiar yellow color shade all over her face.

“Oh my word you guys!” She also finds the underwear drawer emptied out over the floor, a couple crayons in nostrils, and a book with 3 missing pages.

Trying her best to fish out the crayons, while using the amazing power of baby wipes to unhighlight the baby, Jodi is on a mission to stay positive and reinforce the good behavior behind this mess. Something catches her eye. In the door jam, next to the exact Hot Wheels Keenan has been playing with all morning, is a mystery sphere.