Waking up worried

It’s 4 am.

Holidays in retail are not healthy. Business picks up, like a lot. So does pressure, expectation, and hours in the field. “It’s our time to shine ” is the cliche in preparation for some big wigs flying in to critique all the hard work of us putting in those 12 – 14 hour days.

I haven’t made it to the gym in December, I went once in November. That burns me up. I’m going to be so freakin sore once I get enough time to invest in myself again!

There have been a few days that I totally missed my kids waking hours. I leave the house when they’re in one set of pajamas, and return to them in a new set. It saddens me to hear that they tell momma that daddy needs to come home for a bit ’cause they miss him.

My podcast is suffering. I can’t schedule guests when I’m not sure when I’ll be home! My lesson learned is to bank some next year because this craziness occurs every winter and I should be used to it by now! I have great topics to cover, all I need is the time!

Tension is high around the water cooler too. People read a text with whatever attitude they happen to be in at the moment, so in times of extreme pressure, it usually takes on a bitterness that wasn’t intended. Angry phone calls follow. The internal conversations in preparation for these calls are usually worse! By preparing for the confrontation, you are projecting the absolute worst on your target.

I’ve been pulled over a lot lately. Forgot to put on a seatbelt a few times, driving a car full of cardboard attracts attention, one officer asked me if I was moving or living in the car. I said no, but as I’m writing this I’m hearing “The lie detector determined THAT is a lie!”

I fall asleep on the couch, on the floor, in one of the kids beds, but rarely in my bed. Then, some time around 4 am, my mind wakes up and starts listing off what needs to be accomplished in the next 20 hours.

Am I late?

Will So & So be ready to build a display?

Did store X put in the order I asked?

Did I eat yesterday?

And my personal favorite, is it January yet???

Christmas is around the corner. I am looking forward to breakfast with my family. Coffee with Jodi. And if Keenan and Hattie wake us at 4am, it’ll not be worry in my heart!

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