This is the story that launched my desire to write. I wrote this as a Facebook post last summer. 

I have totally slacked on my fitness routine for about 3 weeks. So this afternoon I ventured into a gym. After a few pleasantries of taking my picture, assigning me a access card and checking out a locker key I am on my way back to feeling awesome! First stop – treadmill to warm up and build up a sweat. There is an elder gentleman on the machine in front of me and I noticed he’s at a walking pace but at full incline and really sweating good. I admire his commitment to keeping it up. I’m all warmed up so I jump over to the machines for fast rep circuit training. It’s been a lifetime since I last did this so I realize real quick to lighten the weights this first go-round. I am now Jell-O. I think ‘well, how about a couple laps in the pool to cool down ‘ Hahaha that was a funny thought, I felt like there was a good chance of drowning after the 2nd lap. Screw it don’t burn yourself out on the first day Josh. So I jump into the spa. Hey there’s that old guy again! As I walk down the steps to relax in the bubbles I ask how’s it going. He says “good, how about you?”  “Never a bad day” I responded 

“No reason for one” he replies. Then we sit in awkward silence for roughly 10 minutes. The jets turn off. I don’t know where the switch is, luckily he gets out and turns them on as he heads into the locker room.

That’s when I feel something bump my calf. Then a few seconds later my toe on the other foot. Hmm.

Tap again on my leg, I reach out and catch something swirling around, I lift it up to inspect.

I honestly don’t know if my scream was only internal or if I let out a sound for real, but up through the bubbles I see a full set of upper teeth. 

Immediately and involuntary I chucked them across the hot tub. Then laughed at myself for a good couple of minutes.

Eventually I fished them out. 

Now do I assume these dentures are the dude’s?